


A Man Out of Time

by WheelsUpIn_Five



Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, honestly they deserve better than this, no a4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 00:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheelsUpIn_Five/pseuds/WheelsUpIn_Five
Summary: The last time he’d seen him, mean things were said, thoughtless as if his  actions had no consequences… now he stands alone in a new suit that he will never be able to look at again. His stomach turned at the thought.





	A Man Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the warnings! be safe!

Tony waited anxiously outside, unable to sit or join the the others, glued in place by the emptiness in his chest. The last time he’d seen him, mean things were said, thoughtless as if his  actions had no consequences… now he stands alone in a new suit that he will never be able to look at again. His stomach turned at the thought. 

The other avengers—his family—all stood together, sharing hugs and what were probably words of encouragement. To their credit, they’d tried to include him, but he pushed them away, not wanting their support. He didn’t deserve it. The only reason he was here to see him one more time before leaving. He didn’t need them to try to convince him to stay, after all, it was his fault. 

The hearse pulled up, creating a sudden silence that washed over them, drawing their attention away from their friends. The doors opened, and there he was, looking as red white and blue as ever.    
“Steve,” the words fell from his lips before he could stop himself. Any other day and he might have rolled his eye at the thought of him being draped yet again in those colours, but this isn’t what he would have imagined. 

The colour drained from his face, everything suddenly becoming too real. 

Joining the others, he blinked back tears as he approached. With six in all, he was forced to take his place between Bucky and Natasha to help take him to his final resting place. 

He never meant for it to end like this, he should have apologized sooner.

 

The funeral was small. No cameras, no public, they didn’t need to know. They each got up to say some words and place a rose on his his coffin. Bucky broke down half way through his speech, but he wasn’t the only one. The guilt sat heavily in his chest, a constant reminder of the night he left to get some air, and the phone call he not even an hour later.

It didn’t seem right that after all he’d been though, it was a reckless drunk driver that cut it all short. Steve’d said he was living on borrowed time. He should have begged him to stay. 

He stood up, wiping the tears from his face before standing in front of the others. He rested his hand on the edge of the coffin, facing him rather than the crowd behind him; this wasn’t for them.

“Steve, I-” his voice broke “-I’m so sorry, this is all my fault,” he whispered, clutching at the flag, his knees buckling and hitting the floor hard. “I know I should have apologized sooner, an-and I really wish I did…”  _ It wasn’t supposed to end like this. _

He lent his forehead against the wood and for the first time, let himself cry. Hot tears ran down his cheeks, as he choked on his sobs. There suddenly didn’t seem to be enough oxygen around him, his lungs burning as he clung to the flag helplessly, his whole body shaking with the effort of not collapsing in on itself. People stirred behind him, but he paid them no attention. “I never got to tell you, but I love you so much, Steve.” 

“Tony-” Bucky said, placing his hand on his shoulder. 

Tony pushed his hand away and shakily got to his feet. His eyes flicked over the others. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, using his sleeve to wipe tears from his face, before walking straight past them, not stopping until they were out of sight. 

He wasn’t asking for forgiveness—he didn’t deserve that—but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t let him know.

**Author's Note:**

> They both honestly deserve better than this and I feel bad for doing this to them
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading! I hope it was worth your time :)  
> Kudos, comments and constructive criticism are all very welcome and make me very happy! Just please keep the comments spoiler free!
> 
> Tumblr: wheelsupin-five


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